Browsing the Social Networks – What Jewish Girls and Guys Search For…

Doing The Social Media Scan

So you finally got the name of the intended match for you. What’s the next logical step? A Google search or Facebook scan.

Of course, you’re going to use a Google search or Facebook scan to check out your intended match so let’s be honest about it. It’s not called a social network to be hidden from the public. Even the news announces a person’s Facebook profile before even covering a full story… that’s how important social networking has become to informing the public, let alone dating. So we know that Google is the next logical step and Facebook is the most informative for your research.

Question is, what do most daters scan for? Excellent question so it pays to be prepared for the search:

• Ladies, you’re most likely going to check out what he looks like, what mutual friends he has in common with you, what he does for a living, and what he posts. You’re going to dig deeper into a profile than a man will.
• Men, you’re going to be checking out what a woman looks like indoors, what she looks like outside, if she dresses modestly, and if she is photogenic. Essentially, what she looks like in every possible photographic situation. You do a surface scan at first.

Why the disparent nature in the searches? Well, it comes down to what the matchmaker and what he/she pitches you on. In most case, a matchmaker will say to a guy “she’s pretty, she’s presentable, she’s thin, she’s gorgeous, she’s fit, she’s anything superficial you’re interested in”.

So naturally, a guy will superficially scan to VERIFY what the matchmaker told her. On the flip side, a matchmaker pitches the girl on a guy who “is tall, is very outgoing, has a stable job, loves his parents, has a great Rabbi and hangs with a great crowd, anything besides looks.” And she will verify that fact as well.

With that in mind, use your social networks to your advantage when dating. You can either block from being searched entirely (which is kind of strange, in my opinion, considering you are single and looking to be discovered, right?) or try to take these ideas into account bearing in mind what the opposite sex is searching for:

• Girls, don’t post a profile picture of you with another person – that just throws guys off when they want to genuinely see what you look like (is she my date or is that other girl my date?) Be real and confident in your stand alone pictures and personality.
• Guys, highlight anything other than looks because that’s what she’s searching for. Have a stable job? Highlight that. Love your family? List them on your About section. Show that you have a personality that isn’t perverted, ignorant, or childish (Facebook cover pictures of beer pong won’t sit well with girls looking to settle down.
• Girls, you know he’s going for a surface scan. So a professional headshot or full body shot is a great way to highlight yourself. We’re not talking about a Glamour magazine expensive photo shoot, but definitely a picture that shows quality. Just like you have a great profile picture on dating websites, have one on social media as well.
• Guys, watch your language and your posts. “Those f***ing Jets lost again!” does not a great date conversation make. Hearing the words “Yeah, I saw your wall and it was very interesting” is never a good descriptive term. In fact, interesting kind of sucks. Hey, it’s your wall, but if you’re looking to date or socialize with your friends only instead of girls, then keep on going. If you’re looking to date, post some interesting stuff that keeps the conversation going on and off the wall.

We can keep going on this. And we will in follow up posts. In the meantime, be sure to look at your Google search and see what comes up so you can cover all your bases. Only Simchas, LinkedIn, my job, my previous job, Twitter, and others all popped up in my search so make sure you’re managing your social footprint!

Isaac H.